When You Know It’s Love: The Joys of Reinvention


Dr. Mehmet Oz and his wife, Lisa Oz, with their dog, Khelesi. The couple says that reinvention is the secret to the success of their 30-year marriage. “In some ways, I’ve been married to four different wives.” Dr. Oz said.

Bryan Anselm for The New York Times

How do you know when you are in love? No 1-800-line psychic will tell you. No notice will be sent by registered mail. Not even a ping from your iPhone. But there are a million ways of figuring it out, and we’ve asked some people when they knew. Here is one way:

When you make a fool of yourself for her. Even three decades later.

Dr. Mehmet Oz and his wife, Lisa, have been together for more than 30 years — and they’re still in love. Their secret?

“You have to allow your spouse to reinvent themselves every seven years,” the host of “The Dr. Oz Show:” said. “In some ways, I’ve been married to four different wives.” First, she was the woman he met, then she became interested in theater, and they focused on child rearing, and more than 21 years later, she has moved from acting to production. “She’s taught me different things as her interests changed,” he said, which he deemed critical to staying in love. “You have to find different parts of each other to connect to.”

A couple of years ago, Ms. Oz, who is editor at large of the Dr. Oz the Good Life magazine, told him she didn’t want material gifts anymore. She wanted him to make her stuff on Christmas, her birthday, Valentine’s Day. “Anything,” she said. At first, he got stressed; it’s much easier to pick out something in a store. Instead, he started writing her poetry, not an easy feat, he said, when you are not a natural poet. Sometimes they rhyme. Sometimes they don’t. He isn’t sure how good they are. But he does it for her.

Dr. Oz, 56, loves to watch her reaction as she reads them, so much so that she…

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