Please settle a fight with my mother. I am 25 and self-supporting — though I have fallen behind on my credit card and student loan payments. I have been invited to a childhood friend’s wedding. She is the first in our group to marry, and I am super-psyched about it. It feels like a big milestone. I want to buy a special dress for the occasion that costs $400. My mother thinks this is irresponsible. Your thoughts?
Do you think it’s fun for your mom (and me) to be financial nags? And not to be a meanie, but you are not really supporting yourself if you are falling behind on your credit cards and student debt. So, it’s hard to see how adding another $400 to your tab is a clever move. (It’s even harder to see how another woman’s wedding is a milestone for you.) Mom: 1, Suzanne: 0.
Still, I get your festive motivation. Let me share a silly riddle I heard from a 9-year-old: “Q: If Mississippi let Missouri wear her New Jersey, what would Delaware? A. Idaho. Alaska.” From the mouth of babes, a possible solution to your fashion quandary: Perhaps your mom or aunt or some pal has a sparkly wrap or necklace or chic quelque chose that you could borrow for the wedding? It would be more cost effective and still convey your super-psychedness.
Pride Goes Too Far
My son and daughter-in-law are the parents of our only grandchild. They live 800 miles away, so my husband and I see them infrequently. They live in the state where we grew up and maintain several friendships. But we don’t keep up with these friends as much as we should. Our grandchild is turning 1, and her parents are planning a celebration. Dare I ask my son to invite our old friends who haven’t met the baby yet? Their attendance would require some travel, but it would be a great chance for them to meet her.
Let me get this straight: You are not bothering to go to the party, but you want old friends (whom you scarcely…