After an impressive 10 days in the White House, Anthony Scaramucci is out. He has been fired by the President, giving him the record of the shortest tenure in history as communications director.
It’s all doubtless a shock to the Mooch, who was so desperate to become part of Donald Trump’s administration that he sold his global investment firm SkyBridge Capital, missed the birth of his fifth child, and allowed his marriage to fall apart.
But he need not panic, because at 53, the Mooch still has decades ahead of him. In fact, now might be the perfect time for him to make the career change he’s always dreamed of.
Forget politics, here’s what the Mooch could do instead…
Go on Love Island
After being so badly burned by politics, Scaramucci needs a holiday, and what better option than to get on the next series of Love Island? Not only will it endear him to the public in a way that swearing at journalists won’t, it will be a chance for him to find love after separating from his wife, and the betrayals and backstabbings will be a walk in the park after 10 days in the Trump administration. Let’s just hope he doesn’t get mugged off.
Now that he’s become a father for the fifth time, Scaramucci should take his enforced career break as an opportunity to devote himself to fatherhood. It would be the easiest way to make it up to his estranged wife Deidre Ball, after she delivered their baby and woke up to find a text message from Scaramucci congratulating her on the birth of their child. Besides, why pay for childcare when Scaramucci himself needs a new job?
Queen tribute singer
There is no job better made for Scaramucci than becoming a Queen tribute singer. Imagine the screams when the 5’8 former politician gets to that line in Bohemian Rhapsody, and sings: “I see a little silhouetto of a man. Scaramucci, Scaramucci, will you do the Fandango?”
Scaramooch (scaramooch) appears to be easy come, easy go
— Grace Sparks (@gsparks94) July 31, 2017
Scaramucci has said it himself: Washington is full of backstabbers, but he’s “more of a front-stabbing person.” With natural skills like that, he’s bound to excel in the art of fencing. En garde!
In Scaramucci’s phone call to New Yorker journalist Ryan Lizza, he showed a side of himself that many had not seen before. With quotes like “you’re an American citizen, this is a major…