For some husbands and wives there is no going back after infidelity. The moment this line is crossed then the relationship is finished. It is betrayal on the highest level and there is nothing that can be done to fix it.
Conversely more than a few husbands and wives feel exactly the opposite. Handling an unfaithful spouse is certainly an overwhelming proposition however for whatever the reason they have no wish to end the relationship. For them it’s a severe problem that needs to be confronted and overcome.
There are a variety of options to choose from to get through infidelity in marriage but it really comes down to one point. To begin healing yourself and repairing the marital relationship means sooner or later you must be prepared to honestly forgive your mate.
That is not easy however there are a number of things you can do to move the process along.
1. Forgiveness Starts With You
This has nothing to do with taking the blame for your spouse’s infidelity. It does however have everything to do with building the foundation for when you’re truly ready to forgive them. Outside factors might try to coerce you into doing it now. But you know that will now work. Be aware that it can only occur when you are truly ready.
Also you’re forgiving yourself for those feelings of self-doubt and bombarding yourself with negative thoughts. There is an inclination to beat ourselves down when someone shatters our belief system. Therefore think about your needs first before trying to actually forgive your spouse.
2. Accept What They Did
Way too many spouses who are victims are reluctant to accept the idea that their particular mate committed adultery. They do not want to discuss it and go to extremes in order to pretend it never trasnpired.
All that will do is guarantee that the marital relationship will not be rebuilt correctly. The process of recovery becomes distorted or in many instances never happens at all. They could be married yet in essence they’re just going through the motions.
It will be painful but accept that your mate cheated. That is the only true way to move forward.
3. Two Separate Things
Do your best to separate exactly what the cheating spouse has done from your spouse as a person. This means that you are under no obligation to forgive their behavior.
What your cheating spouse did was wrong and should be condemned as such. However you still love the person you married. Seeing it from this perspective will help a great deal when learning to forgive.