Things Beyond Your Control

Let’s face it, some things in life are bound to happen. When certain events are bound to transpire because of circumstances that are beyond our control, you have to learn how to roll with the blows and cooperate with these inevitable events. The keyword here is harmony, not passivity.

I want you to become more harmonious with the direction of your own life and the world at large. If you keep fighting situations and circumstances with worrying, you’re just setting yourself up for more stress and anxiety. Worrying is not a form of problem solving.

Avoid rationalizing when you want to worry some more. Worrying does not help you think things over. This activity actually hampers your ability to concentrate on the facts of a problem because when you’re worried, you can become very anxious and sometimes even confused. Worrying can pull you into a state of deep despair because the longer you worry about something, the more fearful and depressed you become from the perceived consequences of the unresolved problem.

Believe me, you do not want to routinely engage in depressive thinking. Depressive thinking (i.e. worrying) can take years off your life and can make you a cynical and pessimistic person. Life is beautiful and it offers many opportunities for personal growth.

Don’t let the small obstacles ruin your perspective on life itself. If you accept some things as inevitable, always remember that there are many other situations where you can actively intervene as an effective agent. Again, I’m not telling you to be passive.

I want you to learn how to accept things, but I also want you to be on the lookout for situations where you can turn the tide so you will be at an advantage. You don’t have to passively accept every undesirable outcome that comes your way. That’s no way to live!

However, if you learn how to accept things that can’t be changed, you’ll save yourself from a lot of worrying and you’ll become a more efficient problem solver. In the end, that’s all that really matters.

Here’s how it works:

 

  1. Make a list of the things that worry you regularly. The resulting list will reveal to you your chronic worry triggers.

 

  1. Read the list slowly and remember that from now on, you will be placing a stop-loss order on these items.

 

  1. Whenever you feel worried because of one of these chronic triggers, I want you to ask yourself: “Should I really start worrying about this again?” Take a few deep breaths and gently phase out the feeling…

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