Re: “We’re asking you to tell us a political joke” [Opinion, Aug. 8]: You have to laugh to hear it.
— John Seibert, Laguna Niguel
The difference between puppies and Democrats
What’s the difference between a puppy and a Democrat? The puppy quits whining after a couple of months.
— Terri Parker, Brea
While President Obama and Michelle were taking a walk by the White House, they encountered a young boy who had a box of puppies that were for sale. “These are Democrat puppies,” he stated.
A few weeks later they saw the same boy with his puppies. The boy now said they were “Republican puppies.” When asked about the change in party, he stated, “By now they’ve opened their eyes.”
— Chuck Torres, San Clemente
And they all lived happily ever after … on our dime
Little Sally asked her dad, “Do all fairy tales start with ‘Once upon a time?’” He said, “No. Sometimes they start with ‘If elected.’”
— Ray Kromer, Mission Viejo
Some of my favorite political quotes
“Life is nasty, brutish and short.” — Thomas Hobbes
“And so are liberals.” — John Jaeger
— John Jaeger, Irvine
It could happen
Just like the two Irishmen that walked out of the bar, two politicians refused to accept money from a lobbyist — it could happen.
— Tom Blood, Huntington Beach
Some more famous political quotes
“There are men running governments who shouldn’t be allowed to play with matches.” — Will Rogers
“Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.” — Will Rogers
“I don’t approve of political jokes. … I’ve seen too many of them get elected.” — Unknown
— Marylane Graham, Costa Mesa
The CEO of the company and an assembly line worker are sitting together in the lunchroom. A dozen cookies are placed on the table. The CEO takes 11 cookies for himself, leaving only one for the worker. Then the union rep walks in. The CEO leans over and whispers to the worker, “You’d better watch out. That union rep wants part of your cookie.”
— Steven Valencia, Tustin
Welcome to the party
Mr. and Mrs. Parker and their Democratic friends, the Millers, and the Millers’ daughter, Mary, were coming out of church one Sunday and were discussing the day’s sermon. The sermon was about giving more of your money to the poor. Thirteen-year-old Mary spoke up and said that we should all give so much more of our pay to the poor, and pointed to the beggar on the…