With their ecstasy pills, Priuses and acid wash denim, Gens X and Y would tell anyone who’d unplug their iPods long enough how different they were to their Boomer predecessors. They were tech-savvy early adopters with open minds, a penchant for minimalism and they practically invented blogging — because, hell, their voices are just as important as anyone else’s. Yet as the years have gone by, how much do they love making fun of millennials?
In an obvious echo of the 1950s decrying the long-haired 1960s, those reaching adulthood in the early part of the early 21st century are frequently written off as entitled, work-averse and Instagram self-obsessed. To which we say, well if you never had the chance of owning your own home and the jobs your parents used to do have been outsourced abroad, your motivation might also take a dent.
Among the things millennials have apparently killed off are TV shows that air weekly, the taxi industry, and brothels (say hello to Tinder). Now you can add boobs to the list. Especially the plus-size variety. To which, Boomers, Xers and Ys will presumably splutter, “Back in our day, we were grateful for anything above a B-cup.”
The data comes from an impeccable source. Pornhub bills itself as the world’s largest porn website with billions of hits and with any such cyber entity of this scale it thoughtfully provides an insights section. So that in one’s downtime — as it were — you can crunch some x-rated metrics.
Recently, it focused on all things breasts and found some interesting correlations. Especially when it cross-matched the age of searchers.
First up, April tends to be a boom month for large breast searches — we’ll spare you some of the mammary synonyms used — especially in 2014 and 2015. Since then and up until July of this year the trend has drooped like American Apparel stock.
At the same time, searches for small breasts perked up to such a degree that they now overshadow their bustier counterparts. Also on the up and up are searches for natural breasts.
While it would be tempting to ascribe these fluctuations to a greater diversity of body acceptance and a shunning of pneumatically enhanced artifice, the reality of the matter is that the youngsters these days just aren’t into boobs full stop.
At least that’s what their search pattern indicate with Pornhub declaring, “Visitors between the ages of 18 to 24 are 19 percent less likely to search for breasts when compared to all other…