Firming Up Tentative Plans – The New York Times

He is a son of Jane M. Azia and Robert F. Quaintance Jr. of Manhattan. The groom’s mother is the chief of the New York State attorney general’s Bureau of Consumer Frauds and Protection. His father retired as a partner in Debevoise & Plimpton, the New York law firm, and is now a director of the International Legal Foundation, an organization in New York that helps countries emerging from conflict to establish public defender systems. He was also an associate producer of “Letters From Baghdad,” a 2016 documentary.

The couple met when Ms. Nasr’s roommate from graduate school had a get-together. The host emailed Mr. Quaintance to let him know that he would probably be the only man attending, adding that it would be fine if he backed out.

“My reaction was, ‘Absolutely not; that sounds great,’” he said.

But when the party commenced, the women assembled — all recently or soon to be married — began discussing their prewedding preparations.

“A major topic of conversation for the first hour of the party was, ‘What juice cleanse do you recommend?’” Mr. Quaintance recalled. “‘Did you make sure to go to your gyno visit? How was that?’ A lot of details that we couldn’t relate to at the time.”

He remembers that he caught Ms. Nasr’s eye in what he believed to be common cause. “The initial connection, we sort of looked at each other,” he said, as the conversation turned to shopping for a starter home after marriage. “Neither of us could contribute to this conversation, and I rolled my eyes a little bit, and I thought that she was reciprocating.”

Ms. Nasr said: “I wasn’t paying attention to him at all. I didn’t even remember that we had talked.”

Nonetheless, he felt they had had a connection, and after their first encounter, they passed each other on campus a few times and waved. But Mr. Quaintance saw his first real opportunity a few weeks later, when both were walking home from campus. They chatted a bit, and later made a tentative plan to see each other at a business school social event.

She didn’t show up.

They made another tentative plan, and she didn’t show up again. The third time they agreed to meet, she emailed him in advance telling him that she wouldn’t be showing, and since spring break was approaching, she said that perhaps they would see each other after the break.

“Maybe? That’s not acceptable,” he recalled replying. “Why don’t we get a coffee? And she said, ‘Well, I could do a…

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