Christians get divorced as much as non-Christians. They also face similar issues with successful dating after divorce too except that some of the Christian stereotypes about marriage may not apply in second marriages. Here are five keys to successful dating after divorce that will help you find a good partner.
- Don’t make the same mistakes. You are ready to date when you understand why you picked your ex-spouse and why the marriage ended in a divorce. This includes processing your own issues. If you don’t take the time to do this, you will still have the same emotional issues that drew you to your spouse. It is important to be able to see both your strengths and weaknesses and correct them. This may require you to see a professional counselor to untangle the marriage and divorce.
- Date when you are at peace with the divorce. If you are still emotionally entangled in the marriage, then you aren’t ready to date. Many people pick dates that “are not my ex.” Or, they pick a date that is like the ex because they still haven’t processed the loss. The date is measured against the spouse with either good or bad traits. Either way, this isn’t going into a new relationship with a free heart. Date when you aren’t comparing everything about your date to your ex.
- Build a friendship first. A good marriage involves partnership and companionship and one of the most common mistakes people make is to marry someone who is neither one. Friendship requires that you have mutual interests and mutual respect. If you keep the relationship platonic, you have time to figure out if this person can be a friend. Physical intimacy (even without sex) pressures you into making an emotional commitment, before you know the person is right for you.
- Don’t expect to be head over heels. Physical attraction is an important part of a relationship, but when you are dating as a divorcee who has had life experience and broken relationships, you may be less reluctant to allow yourself to fall head…