The whole relationship has been altered radically following infidelity. Whatever you might have assumed is now called into doubt. For instance there were times when you wouldn’t have gave a thought to when your mate informed you they’d be working late. With the economy being the way it is you just accepted they were trying to bring more money into the household.
Now following the extramarital relationship you’re not so sure. Every time the wife or husband lets you know they will be working overtime your thoughts start racing along. Is your mate telling the truth or are they up to their old tricks? At this point there is absolutely no way to be sure. You really would like to believe them however what happened before is making that extremely difficult.
Your mate claims they fully understand your fears and will do whatever is necessary to repair the relationship after the affair. That is all well and good however talk is cheap. The question is just how motivated are they to follow through with their pledge.
There are a few indicators you can use to measure exactly how serious they are.
Following infidelity one thing that must change is openness. In short the unfaithful wife or husband must be significantly more straight up when interacting with you. Being secretive (which happens to be a vital part of having a marital affair) must end. In the event that your spouse says they are going to be working overtime then they must prove it.
This can denote everything from checking in with you while they are at the workplace to showing you their paycheck which should confirm the number of hours worked. It could necessitate doing both of these things if not more. That may sound like going overboard but the the thing to remember is after infidelity your marriage partner has to prove that they are genuine when it comes to their dealings with you.
2. Really Getting It
When you state your concerns to your significant other following infidelity do you detect that they’re listening attentively are are truly willing to do whatever is needed to take away those doubts? Or do you get the feeling they cannot wait for you to shut up? Sometimes it does not have to be body language. Your spouse’s words are dismissive in tone or maybe they’re not paying any attention. You sense they are somewhere else and are just going through the motions until you finish saying what you have to say.
In other cases it’s about the regularity of trying. Your spouse may start off like there’s…