A First Kiss? Well, First Let Me Lie Down

“I loved his curiosity, groundedness and his leather jacket,” Ms. Spiegel said. “And he loved my crazy hair and my even crazier perspective on life. There were no immediate romantic sparks, but instead we just loved being together and getting to know and understand each other.”

But getting to know and understand Mr. Hudspeth, from any perspective, was no easy task, especially after he arrived for their first date holding a bag from Target that contained filters to help purify the drinking water in his Brooklyn apartment.

“It made me feel like I was just another errand he had to run that night,” Ms. Spiegel said. “It was a very odd first date, but then again, I wasn’t sure that any of our first four dates were actual dates.”

Neither was Mr. Hudspeth, who was certain he and Ms. Spiegel would not make it to a second date. “I thought she was out of my league,” he said. He was so sure of a mismatch, in fact, he wrote in a long text to her after their first get-together: “If I’m reading this correctly, there’s no chemistry here, but I really enjoyed our conversation at the cafe last night.”

Ms. Spiegel was stunned. “I’m sitting there thinking, ‘I really like this guy, and he’s trying to dump me,’” she said.

Their second date started well — with a fireside dinner at a Manhattan restaurant that lasted until midnight — before going down in flames. After they boarded a train for Brooklyn, Mr. Hudspeth, who lived in Crown Heights, hopped off several stops early to walk Ms. Spiegel to her apartment in Fort Greene. “I thought for sure he would kiss me when we got to my front door,” Ms. Spiegel said.

She thought wrong. When they reached her home, Mr. Hudspeth did not attempt a first kiss or seem even remotely interested in receiving an invitation inside. He simply said good night and then left.

Date No. 3 also ended with a bizarre twist. After meeting at the Brooklyn Historical…

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